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United Earth League of Quarantine Aerobics

by Chad Matheny

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1.
There were no bombs, there were no riots, but I knew this time's different, so I hoarded black tea and cat antibiotics, and I called you: "Is there anything I could bring home to cheer you up?" Our street's unusually quiet, and the birds too. Desert monuments in the Black Sea and ice caps in the tropics, but it's nothing new. We're all alone next to each other, and we always have been. Spring breakers drove back from the Baltic, and the national debt grew, and I got some weird advice from our sober alcoholic neighbour. He was wearing my old shoes, and he said, "It's the first warm Saturday. Write to an old friend, then burn the letter. That'll kill the virus. Then throw your words into the sun." Stay outside of a 1.5-meter radius.
2.
I'm coming over tonight. You're a lockdown kid, I'm a parasite, and we're both under Congressional oversight. It's freaking me out. What a ridiculous fight. We got the young guns up, but the sun's too bright. We took a sucker punch on the left, then we chopped off our hands. Oh man. They don't understand what's coming. I don't understand. You don't understand. We don't understand what's coming. You rep the radical right, but they took your bus money under the candlelight, then took your carry-on and cancelled your round-trip flight to the Hague. We had a win in our sights. We put a pallet on the edge of the afterlife, accelerationism mangled to feel alright in the rain, but it's not the same. We don't understand. I don't understand You don't understand what's coming. Get out your stimulus checks and set them on fire. Nobody's on the street. Everyone's wearing masks. How do I sign it if I love you? Nobody's on the street. Everyone's wearing masks. Reach out your arm and touch my elbow. I don't understand what's coming. You don't understand what's coming. They don't understand what's coming. We don't understands what's coming. No one understand what's coming. No one understands.
3.
"Stay Where You Are" Recife, Brasilia, San Pedro, Belo Horizonte, Caracas, Orlando, Tampa, Tallahassee, Ocala, New Orleans, Atlanta, Berlin and the suburbs thereof, Lisboa, Cordoba (ES), Valencia, Paris, San Marino, Palermo, Milano, Valletta, Oran, Kinshasa Lagos, Pretoria, Berlin and the lakes of zones B and C: stay where you are. Kill the lights in Arecibo and stay where you are, but leave them on in your flat. Just stay where you are right now. Your whole life's in receivership, but stay where you are right now and stop. Kuala Lumpur, Jakarta, Taipei, Medina, Qamislö, Sofia, Tirana, Sarajevo, Astana, Odessa, Transnistria, Berlin and the suburbs thereof, Ramallah, Cordoba (AR), Colombo, Ben Gurion, St. Louis, Palatka, Seattle, Minneapolis, Geneva, New Jersey, New London, Karelia, Berlin and the lakes of zones B and C: STAY WHERE YOU ARE. Throw sharp rocks at the tanning salons and stay where you are. Make out with someone you love and stay where you are. Cut the trains, block the freeways, and stay where you are right now and stop.
4.
"Quédate Quieto" Recife, Brasilia, San Pedro, Belo Horizonte, Caracas, Orlando, Tampa, Tallahassee, Ocala, New Orleans, Atlanta, Berlin y todos sus suburbos, Lisboa, Cordoba (ES), Valencia, Paris, San Marino, Palermo, Milano, Valletta, Oran, Kinshasa, Lagos, Pretoria, Berlin y zona B y C: Quédate donde estas. Temor en Arecibo. Quédate donde estas. En casa brilla la luz. Quédate donde estas. Todos vidas en quiebra. Quédate donde estas ahorra mismo. ¡Para! Kuala Lumpur, Jakarta, Taipei, Medina, Qamislö, Sofia, Tirana, Sarajevo, Astana, Odessa, Transnistria, Berlin y todos sus suburbos, Ramallah, Cordoba (AR), Colombo, Ben Gurion, St. Louis, Palatka, Seattle, Minneapolis, Geneva, New Jersey, New London, Karelia, Berlin y zona B y C: Quédate donde estas. Lanza piedras a los lujos. Quédate donde estas. Abraza'a alguien que amas. Quédate donde estas. Infrastructura vacia. Quédate donde estas ahorra mismo. ¡Para!
5.
"Bleib Wo Du Bist" Recife, Brasilia, San Pedro, Belo Horizonte, Caracas, Orlando, Tampa, Tallahassee, Ocala, New Orleans, Atlanta, Berlin und Vororte davon, Lisboa, Cordoba (ES), Valencia, Paris, San Marino, Milano, Palermo, Valetta, Oran, Kinshasa Lagos, Pretoria, Berlin und die Seen den Zoner B und C: bleib wo du bist. Lichter töt in Arecibo. bleib wo du bist. Schimmern in dein Wohnung aus. bleib wo du bist. Das ganze Leben ein Notfall. bleib wo du bist gerade jetzt, und halt. Kuala Lumpur, Jakarta, Taipei, Medina, Qamislö, Sofia, Tirana, Sarajevo, Astana, Odessa, Transnistria, Berlin und Vororte davon, Ramallah, Cordoba (AR), Colombo, Ben Gurion, St. Louis, Palatka, Seattle, Minneapolis, Geneva, New Jersey, New London, Karelia, Berlin und die Seen den Zoner B und C: bleib wo du bist. Einstürtzende Sonnenstudios. Bleib wo du bist. Küss jemanden, den du liebst. bleib wo du bist. Schneidt die Züge und den Autobahnen. bleib wo du bist gerade jetzt, und halt.
6.
"The Ballad of HPAE Local 5058" In 2019, just before the Great Virus, you made a few changes to the paycheck machine. We've been here awhile, and we know what you're up to, but we'll keep this hospital healthy and clean. You can hide all your profits in offshore accounts. You can scramble our hours and move money around. You can plaster our picture all over the town. But you can't shut our union down. Our president went to defend a good worker who you had harrassed to put fear in our hearts. For this he was fired, and we'll never forget it. Remember, boss: this is how wildcats start. You can lower our pay, you can shorten our breaks. You can slander our name and expect us to shake. You can nickel-and-dime us until we're all old, but this union will never fold. We workers who fight to defend all from sickness will never stop caring for people in need. But consider this warning, remember it well: we'll not be extorted by corporate greed. You can fire our leaders and cut off supply. You can save a few bucks and watch innocents cry. You can break every law. You can cheat. You can lie. But this union will never die. You put locks on a stockpile of our PPE. (?!?) That tactic's not fooling me. You can hide all your profits in offshore accounts. You can scramble our hours and move money around. You can plaster our picture all over this town. But you can't shut our union down. No, you can't shut our union down. No, you can't shut our union down.
7.

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released April 14, 2020

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